For those of you wondering where I have been, I am sorry for my absence. I haven't been here for awhile. I haven't WANTED to be here for awhile. In fact, one day I got up from my studio chair, walked out of the room, closed the door and didn't go back in there for months. The piece I was working on still sits on my desk in the same position I left it in. How does something like that happen so suddenly?
I'm not sure but I do know that looking back I only see long stretches of grey. Why? Who knows? What causes such a thing I can only guess at. The long cold winter had finally hit home? The realization that I will never measure up to the image I have in my mind? The fear that my eyes would never be the same and stressing them could only make matters worse?
I don't know what caused all this. I do know that somehow, someway I am slowly creeping back out into the light. I dyed a bunch the last few weeks. I found myself looking at colors and thinking...I wonder if I could capture that on silk? I am starting to have ideas again. I picked up a needle and sewed. I am not sure if I am out of the woods yet but I see the sun between the trees and I am going forward as fast as my legs will take me.
I'm not sure but I do know that looking back I only see long stretches of grey. Why? Who knows? What causes such a thing I can only guess at. The long cold winter had finally hit home? The realization that I will never measure up to the image I have in my mind? The fear that my eyes would never be the same and stressing them could only make matters worse?
I don't know what caused all this. I do know that somehow, someway I am slowly creeping back out into the light. I dyed a bunch the last few weeks. I found myself looking at colors and thinking...I wonder if I could capture that on silk? I am starting to have ideas again. I picked up a needle and sewed. I am not sure if I am out of the woods yet but I see the sun between the trees and I am going forward as fast as my legs will take me.
I knew you had been away but did not know it was because of depression. That is something I had been fighting myself. Glad you are doing better now. (((Hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Diane. I've missed you and hoped you were doing well but apparently not. I've been in that grey place a time or two and it's no place to be. I'm glad you're seeing color again and finding your way out.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, one baby step at a time. A little light, a little hope.. Know that you have supportive friends out there giving you cyber hugs. XXXX I quit working for a whole year one time! I actually threw everything away. Talk about rash. Glad you just closed the door. Hope you are seeking help my dear. When will it be spring there? You are in my thoughts and prayers!!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you've been so low. It's an odd thing, depression, you're either in it (and knowing it will pass is no help at all)or you're out of it and relieved to rediscover life and all your senses so you overdo things and get exhausted! Please treat yourself as you would treat a friend who was going through the same thing. Take care.
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